maroon week

i finally watched maroon 5 this week. it was way more than perfect. i lost my voice after the concert, absolutely. they served us sooo right. i couldn't help moving and singing along. i had so much fun. and adam levine... yeah. is there any word to describe love? hahahaha.

i watched skyave too. it's a concert month. gonna watch david guetta too. and adhitia sofyan has just released his new album which is incredibly good. i love his music. tho he said he didn't really know the name of the chords he plays to every single song he had made. that's kinda cool, too.

the lyrics are awesome too. they're so me. i play his songs every time i write. i find myself stayed in the melodies.

here it goes if you wanna listen http://adhitiasofyan.wordpress.com/

i also wanna say thankyou to this blog because it heals me when i've got something to express.

when will i see you again?

:--)

books and life

hellaw fellas. i spent time reading and studying lately which is kinda lame. old thoughts hunt me too.. right now i'm writing this post at starbucks in the middle of the highway. it's hard to decide the faculty i'm going to get in for the rest of my life. it's not like that. i know my self pretty well, that well. that i don't understand the most part of myself is. i don't know where it exactly is.

people often told me i'm a melancholy. in fact, i'm not melancholy. i'm a realist. which makes me think that every little thing is possible. of course. i over think as a human. cool random things do FLY in my mind every second miserably. these are messing my life. that's why i really wanna dive into english. english is where i found myself. i found my brand new self.

i have this dream..that i'll move out from jakarta, even indonesia. just to start my brand new world. i know that there's no such thing as a new memory. unless you toss your head to the wall, of course. but that's my thing. i'm going out to somewhere peaceful like vancouver or maybe switzerland.. with someone i really love in the future. we'll start things like we're just born that time. new friends, new place, new language, everything new.

talking about someone i really love.. even until now i haven't figured out what love could really mean to us. people. i mean, i love best people around me. but i just kinda... haven't found the 'thing' yet.

you know isabella marie swan? that character in the twilight saga series? yes, that's me in a book. i'm in love with the character inside bella swan. you could love someone, you could die. loving is dying. dying a little inside that you are GIVING a part of yourself to the person you may know after you grow up.

wanna know what i'm waiting until now? my faith.
yes. faith. i know that something is waiting for me in the future....to happen. just to happen for me and my best moment somewhere. much interested of the way of the death. where i'll die later. when. why. and the most important one. who. who'll be there beside me holding my breath. to look me in the eyes and say that im going to be alright. or even who'll be there holding my hand, and lose his last breath as i lose mine...too.
i wonder.

x-ray

today, i'm in big 28 of DKI junior softball for kejurnas this year. i gotta practice harder from now on 'cause in a couple of weeks again it's gonna be the big 17. after three weeks of practice. and four times a week. which are tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday. you've got no idea of how tanned i am right now. the ray of the sun has been keeping my skin dark for a moment. well, let it be.. i'm doing it for fun. a box of fun and seriousness?

so then from now on i have no day off. no fucking day off. i can obviously predict that i'll be down since these things have been going on a very long period of time. hell yea man i've got body glands. unstable hormones of body. which means that i'm that kind of a person who doesn't feel the sickness of her own. she can't really feel the ache, so by the time she feels the pain, it's worth the medication.

i've set the goals, i have got to achieve them. i ask for God's guide to hold me through anything. talking about God.... ah nevermind.

oh and to my boyfriend over the island. Goodluck, man. i'll see you after the game.

hohoho jelek tapi suka. pake sayang lagi...
bisa aja lu don.









i'm excited for maroon5 too. i'm gonna watch them live on 4th of october. i'll need to get my voice back after the concert literally. see you there!

in case you are a stalker, here's my twitter @almakartson :-) i feed stalkers.. thanku.

through times.

i finally trust God again after all the rebelious thoughts in my mind. and those ridiculous moments i didn't record. realizing that in the end, we all are alone. nothing but you and your God. things change the way i live my life tho i didn't feel like growing old but growing strong.

well ah, i've been busy in school and sports. in this case, i kinda regret for not paying attention to the lessons very much lately. it came up as trashy scores... and softball. that thing keeps me running on the field since i was like...what. 9 years old or 10. now that i'm 17. it's hard to get out from this. it really is. it's the thing i've filled in my soul.

a sister of my Grandma passed away last week. it was unbelievable. the one i never thought would leave, left. she stayed in my house for Ramadhan this year. after lebaran, we sent her home which is in Sukabumi. two days later, she was sleeping when she couldn't be woken up. she was still breathing though until a day later when she was handed to a doctor in the hospital and just like that, she passed away. she was a really really good woman. she used to be a tennis player. i adore her. she was the one who was so talkative in fact she's 82 already. Man, she came back for good.

worth reading!

It kinda opens my mind :/



Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

seventeen..

i had been waiting for that day to come. 28th of July 2012. time goes too fast.. seems like yesterday when i kept asking the clock to run so then i could be 17. and now i am seventeen. being legal enough to try new things. i had been wondering what it was like to be 17. tho right now, i'm still asking to myself 'so...you're this old?' cause honestly, i had always wanted to grow really fast. now i'm like.. god damn it. i'm afraid of getting older. i wanna be like this....forever.

a friend wrote something to me that day. it said "happy birthday ma. don't ever get old ya. stay young."
man, it hurts. hahaha... but well, here i stand.

my mom made a private dinner that night. only family and real close friends were invited to the dinner. we didn't prepare anything tho. we didn't even buy the cake lol.

:) you know, it heals the soul just to see the photos.. lovely frrriends. some photos may not be posted.. check them out on my instagram or facebook. or path.

oh and i feel a bit dizzy lately. the schedule keeps me busy.. LIKE SERIOUSLY 24/7. senior year sucks. i need my bed. the pockets under my eyes just can't fade.. and the lessons keep double-ing theirselves which is kurang ajar. so yea, i can't focus on things too much. people call me lemot during these days. i know. even, typing this post is taking me more time than ever.. hardly think of any words to write.

-love

sixth (masa orientasi siswa)

i'm the vice president of student council in my high school. GAYA GA?!! RIYA GITU GA SIH GUE?! maapyak.
so yeah, the student council has its own right to get along with masa orientasi siswa for new students. from last monday to wednesday, we bullied. lol. after 2 years of being taught to be good properties for our school, we finally got to this moment. two years ago, we were the ones. just like them.

i fell in love with my high school student council's jackets. my seniors used to wear those jackets on masa orientasi siswa when i was a junior. i smiled to the juniors now, thinking about me back on two years ago. big uniforms, and those faces that kinda say "hey im new here, who are you"

oh, and i've got couple of love letters from juniors too. some gave me flowers :p they were all sooo funny. but here's my favorite one. so simple than others, but it makes me laugh all the time.

absurd

 viedara, dena, alma

 dara, alma

 viedara, alma

 :))

 nonie, alma, viedara, jessica, gaya, faisal, tofan

 osis mpk together as one :p

 fauzan as a mascot of his class.

kalo bokap nyokapnya tau fauzan diginiin, paling doi disuruh pindah sekolah......

 TIGA SC is TIGA STUDENT COUNCIL

 new students..

:D

performance from each class infront of the school.

I HAD SOOOOO MUCH FUNNNN IN THOSE THREE DAYS. THANKYOU JUNIORS.
-love

fifth

back to me agaiiin. it's been a while, eh? i forgot to post on this blog.. many things happened since i wrote my last post. i played in a marathon game (softball) for about 3 days in a row. one double header, too. i had to play two games in a day. it was thursday till saturday. we lost. 'cause most of our players got to go to somewhere else. so we played for fun.

on our last game

foto yang ini ngerusak.

pertama: gue males rotate-nya

kedua: sebenernya cuman mau foto bertiga, tapi chika jb diblakang.

the title's so perfect. we are minnies. lol.

we are outfielders.

right field, center field & left field.

we are great together.

i had a game on my last schedule, on saturday until 3pm. when i came back to home, i realized that DEV was gonna have a performance at senayan. so then i took a shower and went back to senayan to watch her.. that was my last weekend in holiday so i went straight away without thinking.

i finally got there at 9 and met some of my friends. why i chose dev instead of edward maya and havannah? yeah it's a pretty good question. i chose her because... it was held at senayan. NOT ANCOL. that was too far from my sight.. and more expensive too. it took 250K. DEV only took 40K. man, what a difference. lol.

Dev was going to bass the stage at 10 so i had to wait for an hour. we went to a place to eat&drink first and when me and my friends came back to the main stage, dev was already there. playing her single, like a G6. the crowd was just so... hyperactive. i mean, i've been to many concerts before and dev sounded like... she sounded like a general bass. we could hardly hear the swag. if you know what i mean. me and my friends shared a look to each other like "man, wasted money"

we didn't really enjoy the music. bad sound system you got there, cornetto.
so all we did is, looking at people with low standard on music dancing so hyper in topless clothes like they even knew the song. we took a seat and decided to go out of the main stage.

that was saturday.
on sunday, it was a different story. lol... it was a trax ambassador trip. if you didn't know, i'm the trax ambassador from my school. i had no idea why i won that day, too. if you wonder why. hahaha.

we went to dufan and had so much fun that day. my skin turned so brown too, literally. i once thought to stop playing softball to be less tanned, but i couldn't help playing it again. i've played softball for like 8 years now?? i don't remember.. it was since i was 3 in elementary school.
we laughed too much at dufan...
here's some pictures for u guys: (the dress code was 'black and yellow')

that's for my last weekend (holiday version)!!

-love

4th post

what a day. got out of the house today just to make a deal with a partner in trax. i took me about an hour to get there, and ended up staying there for only thirty minutes. i gave people warm greetings up there before i felt that starving point. the question right here is, why am i always hungry at trax.. no one knows. that's why trax people usually catch me chewing something..

FYI!!! i've been dreaming of getting maroon5 ticket and this evening, i finally got this shit!!! man. that was awesome. i seriously ain't that kid who is always excited on everything. i'm just so excited to get the ticket by myself. i brought my laptop today just in case i couldn't reach home at 19.00. i was still on my way when it was 18.45. so i turned my laptop on, in the car, in the middle of the traffic. i reloaded the page, like, repeatedly. until a box said "Maroon 5 Jakarta LIVE" showep up. i simply clicked and went on until i finally got the notification about my approved ticket. YEAY, i should say.

mood booster. literally.

oh and i received an email from a friend of mine, she hung out with me last monday. i didn't tell ya i actually took a bajaj, right? lol yeah we were in a condition when taking a taxi was too lebay and taking ojek was too rame. taking a walk was just too far.. 'cause there were 5 of us. it was the second time i go naik bajaj lol.. it was interesting so my friend took a moment from it.

ea bang bajaj-nya jason mraz abis tanning.

...

enna, mifta, alma, icca

we talked most about everything we had in mind. we messed. lol.

-love

thirddd.

whatup mondaaay? what am i without music. "I needed music today. And as always it was there for me." -Hayley Williams. that's exactly what i feel about today. i didn't even touch my instruments all day long. i had my iPod busy.

i met my pretty old friends this afternoon. we had lunch and everything. they were not that 'old friends', 'cause they stay through the rough fucking times. i love them. as much as what love means to me. love is not consisted of any kind of hate. that's how i explain love. you don't hate, you curse. we had unforgettable moments together. oh and even if i forget at a time, they remind me. that's what makes it unforgettable. i don't care of how they look like. i don't mind them laughing out loud in public. i throw dirty words on them and they don't care. tho they throw nasty sayings to me too lol. we don't have much in common, but at least we probably have the same names written in our heart.

we had lunch, we went to a saloon nearby and we got some photos taken. someday, i'll post them out on this blog with their sure names. will you wait? :p

huuu and i missed someone today. he means something to me. i wanted to talk to him.. i dreamt of him tonight too. we're miles away..i told myself not to miss him when he's gone. and a sad song shuffled on my iPod. just like that, another me rejected the idea of ignoring.

i remember your eyes were so bright

when i first met you, so in love that night

oh and i remember

your eyes were so bright

when i first met you..

how in love were we that night?

MICCOOOOADIT

i went to waterboom on sunday if you wanna know. yea finally, i swam. lol. it was sooo crowded at first so i had my food before the swimming pool got less crowded. good thing they left faster. i forgot to bring my camera tho so i didn't take any picture, how sad.

that's it for today. i swear to post images soon before you get up from bed(i know it'll take long for people on holiday :p) see ya!

-love

second one.

im not really good at picking out a title so here it goes, the second one.

i just came home today, i met a person from a digital printing company with a couple of my friends. talking 'bout a coming soon event my high school will hold on this november. it's gonna be hugeee guys. i'm not supposed to talk about it too much on this, too. so yeah, we made a good deal.

oh yes, i found some cool things when i got home this evening. look at this..

lol u know what this thing is? it used to be my little diary lol. nothing about it tho. but i used to bring it all the time, i used to stamp everything onto it. like my mom's old stamps collection.

but here's my favorite one.

this looks like a general stamp after all. but there's a little story about it. mom told me it was such a long long time to get this stamp. USAirmail 31c. it didn't touch any dollar but it was the first time my mom got a stamp from the US. the first time i saw a kind of america's flag. yea it still looks fine till now too.

***

me and some of my cousins are gonna go to waterboom tomorrow to swim. its been a long time since i went there. it was my favorite place to swim by the way. sometimes it changes my mind when there are tons of people there tho. it was frustating to see the crowd. children crying, children peeing...ew. so i hope the swimming pool won't be too crowded. i hate busy voices.

talking about cousins. i had four close cousins. they are kinda the same. the same with me. yeah they don't talk too much while we are together. but we've got cool jokes to laugh together. we get along to know each other very very well. and we found it really easy to be close. 'cause our characters are not that different. we biked together that morning when we were in a summer holiday. we got lost in a village until finally we got to the nearest police office lol good times.

one of them is new. well, a new member of my big family. her name's nasyira insanisa. nayra's her nickname. she's going to be 3 this month tho she speaks like twelve. she's so smart. she used to be really cute and quite(of course) when she couldn't speak.... but from that time until she finally could speak so fluent....she got so talkative like a newborn baby bird. pffft.

i have an instax, mmm it's like a polaroid thing but it's just called instax 'cause it's... i don't know. maybe its result is smaller or anything. i don't see the point. yeah it took 10 thousand rupiahs or maybe like a dollar to take a photo from instax. i played along with it and nayra this afternoon. but i was thirsty at the time so i went out from my room to get a glass of water. but things happen for a reason.... when i came back from the kitchen, nayra had taken 3 shots from my instax..and they were all kinda look the same. here's two of them..

kiddos.

hey kid. but...do you know that i could've taken those photos for things that are more important than your eyes and your curly hair right thereeee hello.. but that's alright, maybe those photos are valuable in the future. in the future of the future. when photos of eyes are being famous. and she'd be like "hey look this is me when i was almost 3. see??"

i'm just letting them go...........

-love

first one.

did the same thing like this picture today. did nothing in my room. a mess.

hello hoes and bros.. just came down to blogspot.com and made up my mind of making a new blog. the idea actually shot me when i started thinking i was making my twitter spammed by summer stuffs. well people used to keep you updated on twitter. that was then, but now it's a whole different thing.

so as you know high school's on a summer holiday this month. i haven't really done anything yet lately, oh i had watched some movies tho. romantic ones. which often made me cry during and in the end of the movies. like, one day, dear john, etc. you might think i was that two thousand and late..but yep i really just watched those movies lol i keep myself up for cinema. i don't read much recently, i've been getting important brainy things on mind hahaha gaya abis. they were not heavy but they were...many. so they usually got lost on my tracks.

2 weeks off.
i'd rather call myself spontaneous 'cause i don't really make plans. i do random things..
oh i just bought this book called "The Mysterious Benedict" i didn't have anything to read. i actually had read my twilight saga books. 4 times for each book. boring, isn't it? but stephenie meyer got me going. hoping that the new book i'd just bought will be fun a week from now on. i've read 1/4 pages of them.

SWIM!
i do want to swimmm at least twice on this holiday, so much. this year i am that kind of not going anywhere.. my family is busy with their things and i just canceled my sleepover party in singapore with pals because you know..i'm kinda bored. orchard road, clarke quay, marina bay. oh gosh i'm just not meeting them again. at least this year. i'm THAT sure, indonesians are everywhere and else in singapore. not again. i didn't make it to australia this month too, 'cause they said my visa would end on august which makes me unable to go there until i get a new one on my passport. i miss melbourne.

my mom got angry this morning only because my room wasn't as tidy as she thought it would be. but hey, my room never gets tidy....my mom had just realized that thing today hahaha. she told me to get the room cleaned and she'd give me 200 thousand rupiahs. i was so excited at first. until i realized that my mom would give me money without me cleaning my bedroom and i could never clean my room..lol. kidding. i will clean it tomorrow. yeah, the day after tomorrow. or the day after my graduation.. means a year from now, mom. i love you.

i was all alone today.. my boyfriend had to prepare things to go overseas. he had to do some kind of tryouts for a tournament this september. i do really hope he will play good there so then he will continue to be a real player of the tournament. i know you can do this, dit. well if you're reading this, i already miccu adit madon huwa hug ^^

my best friends are on their selves though. echa, she's now freezing in perth. alya, is now taking off to singapore. mifta just came back from puncak.. not bad that i'll meet icca on monday. others have boyfriends. all hoes left is enna...she's that crazy girl. i can't help but laugh when we chat over bbm. seemed like everything's funny between me and her.

i'll just keep you guys updated for my holiday, alright. pictures uploaded soon!
-love