hellaw fellas. i spent time reading and studying lately which is kinda lame. old thoughts hunt me too.. right now i'm writing this post at starbucks in the middle of the highway. it's hard to decide the faculty i'm going to get in for the rest of my life. it's not like that. i know my self pretty well, that well. that i don't understand the most part of myself is. i don't know where it exactly is.
people often told me i'm a melancholy. in fact, i'm not melancholy. i'm a realist. which makes me think that every little thing is possible. of course. i over think as a human. cool random things do FLY in my mind every second miserably. these are messing my life. that's why i really wanna dive into english. english is where i found myself. i found my brand new self.
i have this dream..that i'll move out from jakarta, even indonesia. just to start my brand new world. i know that there's no such thing as a new memory. unless you toss your head to the wall, of course. but that's my thing. i'm going out to somewhere peaceful like vancouver or maybe switzerland.. with someone i really love in the future. we'll start things like we're just born that time. new friends, new place, new language, everything new.
talking about someone i really love.. even until now i haven't figured out what love could really mean to us. people. i mean, i love best people around me. but i just kinda... haven't found the 'thing' yet.
you know isabella marie swan? that character in the twilight saga series? yes, that's me in a book. i'm in love with the character inside bella swan. you could love someone, you could die. loving is dying. dying a little inside that you are GIVING a part of yourself to the person you may know after you grow up.
wanna know what i'm waiting until now? my faith.
yes. faith. i know that something is waiting for me in the future....to happen. just to happen for me and my best moment somewhere. much interested of the way of the death. where i'll die later. when. why. and the most important one. who. who'll be there beside me holding my breath. to look me in the eyes and say that im going to be alright. or even who'll be there holding my hand, and lose his last breath as i lose mine...too.
i wonder.
28/09/12
16/09/12
x-ray
today, i'm in big 28 of DKI junior softball for kejurnas this year. i gotta practice harder from now on 'cause in a couple of weeks again it's gonna be the big 17. after three weeks of practice. and four times a week. which are tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday. you've got no idea of how tanned i am right now. the ray of the sun has been keeping my skin dark for a moment. well, let it be.. i'm doing it for fun. a box of fun and seriousness?
so then from now on i have no day off. no fucking day off. i can obviously predict that i'll be down since these things have been going on a very long period of time. hell yea man i've got body glands. unstable hormones of body. which means that i'm that kind of a person who doesn't feel the sickness of her own. she can't really feel the ache, so by the time she feels the pain, it's worth the medication.
i've set the goals, i have got to achieve them. i ask for God's guide to hold me through anything. talking about God.... ah nevermind.
oh and to my boyfriend over the island. Goodluck, man. i'll see you after the game.
hohoho jelek tapi suka. pake sayang lagi...
bisa aja lu don.
i'm excited for maroon5 too. i'm gonna watch them live on 4th of october. i'll need to get my voice back after the concert literally. see you there!
in case you are a stalker, here's my twitter @almakartson :-) i feed stalkers.. thanku.
so then from now on i have no day off. no fucking day off. i can obviously predict that i'll be down since these things have been going on a very long period of time. hell yea man i've got body glands. unstable hormones of body. which means that i'm that kind of a person who doesn't feel the sickness of her own. she can't really feel the ache, so by the time she feels the pain, it's worth the medication.
i've set the goals, i have got to achieve them. i ask for God's guide to hold me through anything. talking about God.... ah nevermind.
oh and to my boyfriend over the island. Goodluck, man. i'll see you after the game.
hohoho jelek tapi suka. pake sayang lagi...
bisa aja lu don.
i'm excited for maroon5 too. i'm gonna watch them live on 4th of october. i'll need to get my voice back after the concert literally. see you there!
in case you are a stalker, here's my twitter @almakartson :-) i feed stalkers.. thanku.
08/09/12
through times.
i finally trust God again after all the rebelious thoughts in my mind. and those ridiculous moments i didn't record. realizing that in the end, we all are alone. nothing but you and your God. things change the way i live my life tho i didn't feel like growing old but growing strong.
well ah, i've been busy in school and sports. in this case, i kinda regret for not paying attention to the lessons very much lately. it came up as trashy scores... and softball. that thing keeps me running on the field since i was like...what. 9 years old or 10. now that i'm 17. it's hard to get out from this. it really is. it's the thing i've filled in my soul.
a sister of my Grandma passed away last week. it was unbelievable. the one i never thought would leave, left. she stayed in my house for Ramadhan this year. after lebaran, we sent her home which is in Sukabumi. two days later, she was sleeping when she couldn't be woken up. she was still breathing though until a day later when she was handed to a doctor in the hospital and just like that, she passed away. she was a really really good woman. she used to be a tennis player. i adore her. she was the one who was so talkative in fact she's 82 already. Man, she came back for good.
well ah, i've been busy in school and sports. in this case, i kinda regret for not paying attention to the lessons very much lately. it came up as trashy scores... and softball. that thing keeps me running on the field since i was like...what. 9 years old or 10. now that i'm 17. it's hard to get out from this. it really is. it's the thing i've filled in my soul.
a sister of my Grandma passed away last week. it was unbelievable. the one i never thought would leave, left. she stayed in my house for Ramadhan this year. after lebaran, we sent her home which is in Sukabumi. two days later, she was sleeping when she couldn't be woken up. she was still breathing though until a day later when she was handed to a doctor in the hospital and just like that, she passed away. she was a really really good woman. she used to be a tennis player. i adore her. she was the one who was so talkative in fact she's 82 already. Man, she came back for good.
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